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The selfishness of motherhood

April 18, 2011

I’m a selfish person, when people call many of the acts of mothering selfless I remain a little unconvinced. On the surface motherhood does seem selfless; we give up a lot of ourselves to provide all the needs (and wants) of our children, but for me the rewards far outweigh the costs.

When I was deciding if I was going to have a child or not all the analyses came down to how it would impact and benefit me, no thought of the child even came into my mind. He comes into my mind plenty now of course, he has to, but I still feel like my role is about me and he just happens to benefit greatly despite my selfishness.

It is true we give up a lot to become mothers; quality sleep, time to ourselves, our pre-baby bodies, and possibly part of our sanity. In return however we get loved deeply, true happiness, and deep contentment. These are things I otherwise may never have felt; it’s a reward that can’t be bought, we can’t earn it, and we can’t steal it.

We can however have it at a very great cost; it’s the cost of becoming a mother.

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